HOW WE DU IT : OUR BLOG

If you've been picking belly button fluff out of your navel for most of your life like we have, then this August's Which? property survey is an absolute must! It found out that householders should always have a written agreement in place with a builder or decorator before work begins just in case a dispute breaks out! Makes unlocking the human genome seem simple, doesn't it? So knowledge-seeking funsters here are the survey's key points:

* 2.5 million householders have had a dispute with a builder or decorator in the last three years

* Over 600,000 of these householders had to resorted to formal action

* The most common cause of such metaphorical fisticuffs was the quality of the work

* 25% of householders don't get a written agreement from a builder or decorator

* 4% of customers were asked to pay the bill in full and up front before work had even started! Cheeky blighters....

* 18% had to spend more money on legal expenses to get the problem resolved

Which? advise getting several quotes and insist on getting a written agreement before going ahead with home maintenance or improvement projects using outside professionals.

In best Michael Caine accent: "Not a lot of people know that." Well they do now our thespian friend, they do now!

SOLAR PANELS Don't wish to boast old chap but we're 'Tomorrow Today!' while you're, well, just a bit 'yesterday'. Typically we can give electricity for life AND earn my owner up to £1,650 tax free for 25 years. And you?

ROOF TILES Er, we're cheap & keep the rain out.

SOLAR PANELS Oh well done! Not exactly rocket science, is it? We do that AND take advantage of the Governments 'Clean Energy Cash Back Scheme', although sign up for the scheme is for limited time period. And your plus points?

ROOF TILES We're cheap & keep the rain out.

SOLAR PANELS And we're clean & green, capturing the heat from that great big nuclear fusion reactor in the sky - the sun! Match that, my forgotten friend.

ROOF TILES We really are cheap & keep the rain out.

SOLAR PANELS Not exactly Einstein are we?

ROOF TILES Well theoretically my Mass (when multiplied by the Speed of Light and then Squared) can produce a LOT of Energy.

SOLAR PANELS Theoretically phooey, nor very green, whereas my carbon footprint is impeccable! Come on granddad, give me your best shot.

ROOF TILES We come in handy for martial artists too you know, they shatter loads of us with their hands, elbows, feet and stuff. It's very impressive!

SOLAR PANELS Theoretically making and detonating a slate-based nuclear weapon every time you want to cook dinner is very impressive too, but it's hardly a realistic basis for a green, clean & renewable national energy policy is it? And your steak would always be overdone.

ROOF TILES No-one's ever seen a solar panel being karate chopped in half have they?

SOLAR PANELS That I concede. Congratulations! I wish you a long & happy time being smashed to bits - all very appropriate I'm sure.

ROOF TILES Don't forget we're cheap & and keep the rain out too!

SOLAR PANELS Not when you've been smashed to bits by some gorilla in his pyjamas you don't.

The Leatherman Range

Claimed by some self-proclaimed scientists to be the only thing to exist at absolute zero (that's - 273.15 oC, brrrr!) in the known universe, the Leatherman pocket multi-tool is so damn cool we don't advise putting one in your trouser pocket. Hang one from your belt in it's nifty little pouch for safety first max coolness.

With one of these beauties at your side, anyone named Bear Grylls or Ray Mears (who have the exact same skills as the survival experts with the same name) could whack up a nice little bungalow, complete with running water, within hours of being dropped slap bang in the middle of some otherwise inhospitable tropical place for average human beings.

We think the toughest thing about the Leatherman, after the person wearing one of course, is choosing which in the range to choose. Starting at a well equipped pocket knife plus for around £55, these babies go right on up to being Military Grade Utility tools. Easy to spot in the shop as they're designated MUT (Military Grade Utility), our fave comes from the MUT range: the MUT EOD Black. It's hard to spot at night as it comes all in black for night ops, e.g. fixing a fuse after dark. This one is even purposefully designed for Explosive Ordnance Disposal!

While the ordinary DIY-er isn't advised to try building an extension single handed with nothing more than a Leatherman (even the one designed for explosive ordnance disposal) hanging from their shorts, we almost guarantee they'll look a whole lot cooler, even when wearing socks with sandals!