HOW WE DU IT : OUR BLOG

Everyday there's a blog, article or person bemoaning the decline of traditioinal 'male skills', like hanging a shelf, in today's man. So hold your head high once you've read this 'how to' guide!

Brackets and other types of wall fixings abound but to keep this simple we've chosen one where the shelf's supporting arm is pre-fixed to the wall plate.

• My apologies! A 'supporting arm' is the bit the shelf rests on (preferably in perfect parallel with the floor). Its chum the 'wall plate' screws flush to the wall.
• Place one wall plate/supporting arm combo against the wall where you want one end of the shelf to be supported. Check there's the correct shelf overhang and take note so you can replicate the other side. Make sure it's at the right height too!
• Grow spare pair of hands and use them to hold the wall plate in place. Alternatively, engage services of another peep, preferably an admiring one with tea & biscuits.
• Use your limb combo to put spirit level on shelf and, once level, hold plate on underside of shelf. Use screw to mark where screw holes are.
• Use wire and pipe detector to ensure you won't be screwing your face plate into pipes or wires (not good).
• Place plate in position shown by screw mark and put spirit level on top of plate to ensure it is level. Now mark all remaining screw holes.
• Choose rawl plug/screw combo suitable for load shelf will carry. Ensure your wall is also suitable, i.e. that masonry can be drilled into and not just plasterboard if you plan to put up your entire Encyclopaedia Britannica (book format) on shelf.
• Choose drill bit is right for task, i.e. masonary, plasterboard etc. Ensure rawl plug is same width as drill bit.
• If your drill doesn't have a depth attachment, wrap masking tape around drill bit at required depth. If your drill is variable speed start slow and speed up as appropriate.
• Drilling will alert other member(s) of the household that you are actually working. This would be a good time to request further tea & buscuits.
• Insert rawl plugs in holes so that they are flush with wall. Screw face plate to wall until all screws are halfway in.
• Put the spirit level on to of plate until it is level. Now tighten screws.
• Repeat with second wall plate. Put shelf on and use spirit level to ensure it is actually level.
• With a tape measure centre the shelf on the supporting arms. Fix shelf in place with screws or tacks provided, remembering to check one more time that shelf is level before putting smug face on and shouting: "finished!"
• Alternatively, call a pro in while you do something more interesting, knowing that if ever asked: "Could you put up a shelf?" you could answer: "Why of course!" without any fear of your nose going all Pinocchio-stylee.

B&Q and Wickes' boasts of impeccably green practices sound hollow today as both have been accused of selling illegal plywood, sourced from endangered rainforests that are home to the world's dangerously declining orang-utan population.

Official investigators claim that although the very ungreen plywood comes from a single Malaysian firm, Asia Plywood and originally 'harvested' from Borneo, it has remained on sale to unsuspecting customers at B&Q and Wickes outlets in the UK.

Unknowing customers of the DIY Giants were horrified to learn of the condemned plywood being sold in stores which hitherto were thought to have impeccably green credentials. Justine Burrows was one customer who summed up the feelings of visitors to an Essex B&Q outlet: "It's horrible to think of Orang-utans dying because trees are being taken illegally from their natural habitat. To find out it's this same wood that's sold as totally green by the likes of B&Q to trusting shoppers-  it really makes me see red!"

Asia Plywood was stripped of its green credentials in December 2011and the investigating authorities ruled that none of its products made from February 2011 onwards should be put on sale. However, Wickes, which assures customers that its timber comes from a "responsible source", told press it would continue to sell the unethical timber as this was better than "putting it in a landfill site."

CHUMP: Solar panels! Bit out of my league aren't they?

CHAMP: Au contraire, mon ami, Solar Panels PV (SP) merely convert sunlight into electricity -

CHUMP: You don't say Sherlock! But why should I be interested?

CHAMP: As I was just about to say, as well as giving you a smaller carbon footprint, they can give you a regular income.

CHUMP: As in cash income?

CHAMP: Yep.

CHUMP: Well don't stop there man, tell me more!

CHAMP: Firstly in export payments. These occur when any electricity generated by your SPs, which isn't being consumed by you, automatically goes to the National Grid for a minimum payment of 3p per kWh. It's tax free too and is locked in for 25yrs.

CHUMP: Tax free income from devices that will cut my fuel bill! Why haven't I heard about this before?

CHAMP: Probably because when anything 'green' came along you thought you were going to get a load of weird beard, tofu munching, sandal wearing propaganda and switched off.

CHUMP: I suppose I might have done.

CHAMP: Shame that, as it gets even better thanks to a thing called Feed in Tariff (FiT) payments. Now hold onto your hats because politicians have made a simple system rather complicated.

CHUMP: Just do your best.

CHAMP: OK. Introduced in April 2010, the FiT paid 43.3p to you for every kWh generated by your solar panels no matter whether you consumed them at home or exported them to the National Grid. Governments changed and the new one announced a brand new system called the Green Deal. This initiative would change all 'green' subsidies etc. when introduced in late 2012. Until then, the FiT was to be cut so that from 1^st April only 21p per kWh would be paid and then only to houses rated band C by Energy Performance Certificates.

CHUMP: I bet that put the cat amongst the pigeons!

CHAMP: I'll say. The new rate would means the amount of money the prospective domestic SP owner could make would be slashed so much, there was such a stampede to get them fitted before the cut-off date 80,000 SP systems were fitted in just six weeks!

CHUMP: And?

CHAMP: Then it went to court where the judge decided the government's cut of the FiT was "legally flawed" in December 2011 and booted it out. At appeal on 25^th January 2012 the court's earlier ruling was upheld, meaning the FiT of 43.3p per kWh, however energy efficient your house, would remain due to SP owners until the law decides otherwise!

CHUMP: OK, cut to the chase - how much money does a typical SP system cost, and in typical weather for a year with typical this, that and the other, how much will it make me?

CHAMP: It depends but if you really want a figure-

CHUMP: Yes I do and I know it may vary so spit it out!

CHAMP: OK, an average size system costs between £12,000 and £15,000. You'll earn you up to £1200 a year through FIT payments (43.3p per kWh) and energy savings. And that's tax free, with the FiT linked to the Retail Price Index and paid to you by your electricity company for 25 years.

CHUMP: How much will these solar panels cost me?

CHAMP: Again prices will vary but for a typical system, fully installed, expect to pay around £15,000, give or take a grand or so.

CHUMP: There must be a catch. What about planning permission?

CHAMP: Phone your planning officer to check but, unless it's a listed building or in a conservation area, there shouldn't be a problem. Nor does it matter what electricity company you use, or change to, as everything is regulated so all have to play ball. So then, are you converted to solar power?

CHUMP: Not sure. Let me eat this deliciously appetizing tofu and beansprout wholemeal bap that's miraculously appeared out of nowhere and I'll tell you.

RED THE NEW BLACK!

Hot news from DIY and Trade Retailer B&Q says we've all seen red - from hall to loft conversion and every room in between it seems.

Magnolia, the nation's previous choice of neutral shade (read bland, boring colour designed to be as inoffensive to as many people as possible) is just so yesterday man, as funky scarlet and cool crimson take over as our numero uno.

So dramatic has this change been according to B&Q's survey, reds are outselling magnolia by 2 to 1.

Main reason for the change is that, as the housing market stays sluggish, abodes are being treated like homes again with interior design reflecting the householder's tastes - and not those of their estate agent.

National Home Improvement Show 30 September to 2 October 2011

Need to know - need to go more like as the National Home Improvement Show comes to Earls Court London this month, opening 30th September and closing 2nd October!

It's a must for anyone thinking of improving their home in the near future, or just interested in what can be done to give a home some extra va-va-voom! Either way, it's well worth battling your way through a mass of itinerant Australian bar staff to get their.

Highlights include:

* The Interiors Pavilion: Julia Kendell and other experts will guide you through giving a new look to your home whether it is an Elizabethan listed building to a post-modern flat in a reclaimed industrial property.

* The Exhibitors: Lots of companies exhibiting their wares from simple paints to the most baffling restoration projects.

* Real Homes Live!: The bods from the UK's favourite home improvement magazine Real Homes will be on hand, holding a restored Victorian coal scuttle-full of seminars, Q&A's and generally being the nice, helpful lot they are.

Tickets are a snip at £8 if bought in advance (before 3pm Thursday 29th September) or £12 if bought on the on the day. Call 0844 581 0802. Then once you've got your ideas, come and contact us lot at DU.IT and we'll make your dreams come true - ah, ain't that nice!