Unblocking a loo is a horrible, smelly and let's be honest, crxxxy business. To unblock one means putting your hand in, after a few preparatory actions (see below), and pulling all the waste stuff out, not pushing it through. So if you couldn't put your hand in there and have a right ol' rout about, even if you are wearing a military grade Nuclear, Chemical and Biological suit, forget get it. Just go to point 5 and we'll see you soon.
What blocks a loo is putting stuff down one that shouldn't be there - that's anything other than human poo, loo paper and moist wipes designed to go down the toilet bowel. It's this stuff that doesn't get flushed through, builds up and eventually stops the right stuff from flushing away. For anybody who is prepared to have a go unblocking one, here are the tricks of the trade….
1. Chemical Cleaners are readily available, but stronger liquids can be found in 'hardware' shops. These can be poured into standing water (check label first), but scooping out as much as you can first may help. Follow instructions on the bottle and if all goes well the cause (and consequences) of the blockage will rise to the surface, whereupon you and you Marigold-gloved hand can scoop out all the 'stuff'. However this method isn't free problems. The chemical/water mix creates heat. Too much heat and the ceramic bowl will crack, leaving you with the expense of a new bowl and a filthy mess on your bathroom/loo floor.
2. A toilet plunger is the next weapon of choice. Similar to the standard sink plunger, the specialist MK2 'toilet' version will have its rubber head designed to create a maximum seal in the toilet. Ultimately you can hire the Mk3 version with pump action designed to pump water around the bowels of the beast to help clear it… in theory anyway.
True Brits don't go in for all this 'Gucci' kit from the 'Yank Special Toilet Unit.' Pick and use what's to hand, like the SAS (Special Action Sanitation) team do. An old fashioned mop with a mass of strings at one end is ideal. Ram this as far and hard round the U-bend as you can and then pull out as quickly as it went in. With any luck your mop will have caused a vacuum. This will suck out the blockage which you can then transfer to a bucket for alternative disposal (over your neighbour's fence is not advised… unless they're out).
3. A coat hanger can make a cheap and effective method of unblocking your loo. As the wire is flexible it can penetrate far into the blockage, catch the blockage and allowing the whole lot to be pulled out. If you are out of sorts with your spouse, please resist the temptation to leave their shirt/blouse on the coat hanger as this will do nothing for you relationship and could even come off the hanger, adding to the blockage to be removed.
4. An auger is probably your second best bet to clearing the seemingly immoveable blockage. An auger is a flexible wire designed to be pushed into the blockage. Turn the handle (if you've pushed the right end in) at and pull out the blockage. If all goes well, flush the loo a few times (ideally removing the dirty gloves before doing so). And now for the best method of them all…
5. For just £49.99+VAT DU.IT will send one of our highly trained (and incredibly fragrant under the circumstances) technicians to do the job for you. Think of it, for a mere £49.99+VAT, instead of diving into a bowl full of nastiness, you could be sipping a nice cup of rosy, doing The Times cryptic crossword or discovering the existence and nature of the Higgs Boson using just a salad spinner rather CERNS 27km ring. Sound great doesn't it?
All you need to is call us on 0800 612 9593 or make contact via this website and our nice peeps will restore toilet harmony for just £49.99+VAT With an offer like that we should clean up nicely, if not come up smelling of roses.